LOL, my BFF ;-{ ) !

Gawd, how I hate cliches. I know, my bluetoothed friends, I'm one too. I mean, how can you not help but be one in some way shape or form. There are so many pop culture buzzwords and catchphrases and trends out there that it turns my stomach, & if you knew me you'd know that's gotta be a pretty mean feat.

OK, let's get started, I only have time for a few or I'll be here all day:

- Everyone is saying "No worries". I first heard this phrase on that stupid Abe Lincoln sleep aid TV commercial. I thought the actor read the script wrong; turns out everyone's saying that - EVERYONE EXCEPT ME.

- Everyone's also saying "yeah yeah yeah" in response - no, I mean in really really response - to some statement they agree with, thay they want to add some bit of detail to. Look, unless your name is Ringo, quit that shit. You sound like you have a stuttering problem.

- If you are past the age of 25 (OK, 30 or so), DO NOT wear your shirttail hanging out from under your sweater like the asshole on the "you're my #1" cell phone commercial. If you don't think you can NOT look sloppy just wearing an untucked shirt, tuck it in, gramps. And grams.

- If you were born/raised/obtained an education above the Mason-Dixon line, there is no fathomable reason for you to say "dudn't". The contraction is DOESN'T. "Dudn't it?" "Yeah, it dud!" See how stupid that sounds, Jeb?

- Back when I was a young creep, when your jeans were all torn at the bottom and you were dragging dirty denim stalagmites (ot 'tites, whichever is appropriate), it meant you were a)too poor to buy new ones; b)too stoned to pick up the scissors & cut that shit off; c)those jeans were way past their 2nd stage of wear, which started after you undid the hem last month because they were shrinking from being thrown in the dryer. Now I'm all for punky, I-don't-give-a-shit looking clothes, but this just reminds me of Britney Spears neighbors. In my youth we called them Grand Funk fans.

Wow. I'm really on a roll here. I better quit before I offend someone.

Am I a snob? Probably, and I'm probably as big a cliche as you'll ever see. And I'm also full of shit, and I'll be the first to tell you so. That's a cliche, too.

And I should care what you think because...? (look out, falling cliche zone)