FLOODED

My hot water heater died this weekend. It had been ill for apparently quite some time. I knew it hadn't been well, but just how poorly it was doing was a mystery to me - until Saturday.

Water had been leaking from what I call "the workshop" (may as well been called "the boudoir" or maybe "conjunction junction") out to the main play area. Which meant it passed under a wall, which has visible moisture, luckily at this point only visible from the workshop, or back, side. Imagine the sinking feeling in my gut when my every squishy step produced water gushing from the sides of my plimsoles. This scene is not what I planned for this weekend. Not even close.

And even though I very much enjoy making purchases (ask anyone), I didn't want to buy a new hot water heater nor a wet/dry vac. (I did get a new shirt & some socks. It was like an aspirin.) So I've been sucking the water out of the carpet. Actually that is the wet/dry vac's job.

This disaster brought about a bittersweet discovery. I came across a forgotten box of shotglasses, about a hundred in all, that I had stored guess where, in the workshop, against guess what, "the wall". The box was a soft, wet, green furry delight. The inside, which contained individually wrapped shotglasses from Grayling to Greece, was equally wet & green. I spent quite some time unwrapping them, and soaking them in cool (dead h.w.h, remember?) soapy water & rinsing them off. I'll give them a nice hot bath within the next day or so. I have to find a new storage place for them.

So late Saturday night, as I occasionally do, I stuck on some headphones to spin a few discs before bedtime (the brand new Breeders is very good - maybe their best since their first, "Pod". Very un-rock, and literally no "Cannonball"-type hits that I can surmise). All the while my mind is dwelling on the whole thing ahead of me. The cleaning, the possibilities of mildew & stink, water damage. I couldn't take it anymore. One last spin before signing off:

Von Sudenfed "Flooded"

A few sputtering thoughts:

This past weekend saw not only water soaked carpeting but this year's Coachella Music Fest in Indio, California. Usually known for its eclectic and artistically-forward lineups, someone must've hired their freshman-term campus-awed nephew to cast his vote on pick-the-talent day: mid-afternoon who-gives-a-shit timeslot for the mighty Verve, but HEADLINING SET BY JACK JOHNSON??!!!?? I'm guessing too many bong-hits for new intern and Uncle Chairman-of-the-Board's chip-off-the-ol'-block Justin. Or Jason, or whatever his wonder bread name is.

I hate the show "Brothers & Sisters" and every single cast member on it. And now with Danny Glover in a guest-starring role I have to turn the volume up full blast to hear him deliver his I-can't-speak-past-this-whisper lines. My wife said something about he had a throat problem. I googled "why does danny glover whisper" and after three pages nothing sympathetic came up. So what's his problem, speak up fer Chrissakes.

Lewis Black is funny, but not as a comedy show host. "The Root Of All Evil" casts him as moderator of a debate on who is the evilest between two questionable entities, argued by two third-rate comics. The episode I saw was "Dick Cheney v. Paris Hilton" with Patton Oswalt (the other fat guy from King Of Queens) and Greg Geraldo (some other unfunny loser) and the funniest part was the beginning of the show when Lewis Black was explaining who they were. After that it was all downhill - more like free-falling. I erased the other episodes I DVR'd.

That's it; back to swabbing the deck.