More Like Mitch Walker

Didn't I tell you I hate rock'n'roll? But what other people ... musicians included ... consider rock'n'roll, from what I experienced this past weekend, is probably closer to what I meant.

I'm referring to the Metro Times Blowout, which was not as exciting as last year's even though the potential was there. I went Saturday, and (apologies to all who I was there with) I wish I woulda stayed home.

First, it was cold and messy because of the snow earlier in the day. But big deal, it's March, I knew it wasn't gonna be balmy.

I enjoyed being out, because I could chain-smoke cigars. And I could drink to excess. And there was live music. BUT - when you combine the first two, and the third factor is second-rate ... well, you can just imagine all the biting nasty commentary running through my head (it never ends).

First I saw a band with a name so stupid that I don't care if I meet the guy and have to say, "oh yeah, you're in...whatever" that a friend and I renamed "Mountain Pie". Every song sounded like a blend of "Mississippi Queen" and "I Don't Need No Doctor". The frontman tried extra hard to look and act just like the front man in The Black Keys, rocking his long greasey hair & mountain-man beard (hey bro: I just bought a trimmer from Target a couple weeks ago for less than $20). I mean, they were good, but ... just so derivitive in their sound and execution, It makes me wanna revive my old mantra of "typical Detroit stuff" (are they all really that lost without Jack White? C'mon!). But that's OK, given that they could've been like the next band, which was just so damned anonymous, except for their sideman ... Eddie Baranek from The Sights (see previous post - my how the mighty have fallen). Not a hair out of place - all five of 'em. More drinks, more cigars. Things were getting starchy. Then, it was time for who I actually came for - Powertrane with the mighty Scott Morgan. If he wore his beret any further down his head it'd be a berka. He must really have really really bad ugly baldness issues. The band were only so-so compared to last year's scortching set which won me over and had me declaring them the best band in town. Then, Mitch Ryder comes on for vocals. He was like a blend of Ozzy & Brian Wilson: semi-comatose. I didn't see him walk on stage, I bet someone carried him out there & propped him up with a stick. Replete with de riguer old guy "I'm still cool" getup: shades, porkpie hat, smile-shaped tambourine. However, the voice is not bad after all these years. But he shoulda just sat on a chair for all the presence he had. He sang his hit singles, and the song he did with Was Not Was ("Bow Wow Wow Wow" - stupid), and finished up with the last single his band Detroit released back in '72: "Gimme Shelter". The big difference was the one from '72 rocked, this one not so much, and it had a lengthy psych-drone swirling masturbation intro. It literally had me screaming "enough!!".

But I was glad to come; I was sad to leave. While I was there I had me a real good time.

Next, stopped at another bar & caught about 2 minutes of a Blanche-like combo that seemed like the best thing we saw. And that was it. Closing time. We wasted a lot of time waiting for my standard disappointing local musical experience. However, I capped off the night by playing the jukebox. It was the only current music I heard all night - Vampire Weekend.

And along that line of thought, here's an interesting point: all the music I heard between bands was pretty good, stuff I would play at home. However, the newest thing they played was "Not Great Men" by Gang Of Four. That's 1979.

Maybe I could still dj. I have MC5 albums.