Vampires, Jeeps & Nuns

First I wanna tell you about my favorite album of the moment, which could change in a week or so because things move quickly in my fickle world

VAMPIRE WEEKEND

They're a well-heeled quartet from somewhere in New York who play a blend of new-wavy tension-pop & cod-african/carribean rhythms (that's a lotta hyphens) and they're whiter than David Byrne & I useta think his middle name was mayonnaise. And by coincidence they were on Letterman last Friday! Quite bouncy & pleasant, so check them out quickly.

So, other stuff now:

I just got a new Jeep Liberty the other day. I used to have one a few years back. It was Red red and I called it "Li'l Miss Fireball" but not everyone knew that because wouldn't it seem kinda childish for a grown man to name his car? Who am I , Archie Andrews? This one's black and has added street cred due to the stealth-like manner in which it moves down the road. I don't know if I'll name this one, because I have mixed feelings about it, as follows:

When I took dellivery of the Jeep it had the following: no power doors, no cruise control and no floor mats. All of which my van had, which I turned in to get the Jeep. I kinda already miss that van, which people laughed at and called me "soccer mom" and I was actually gonna get a soccer ball sticker for the back window except I didn't know where to get one, like do I have to go to a school bookstore or something, but mostly because I couldn't be arsed, and also I slapped a WDET sticker on the back, funny thing 'bout that because I never donated money to them and for certain that's the case today because they suck rat embryos but back when they were the rat's ass (not it's eggs) I got this sticker for free because I was somewhere that they also were and they were giving them stickers away like sugar cubes at The Fillmore (archaic reference) back when they actually had supporters at events I would attend and nowadays that certainly is not the case. That's why I am so big on WFMU because they have a similar spirit only moreso wacky. WDET was never wacky. Oftentimes they were up their own sphincter, but where else were you gonna hear Sun Ra?

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, the car thing. Since I took delivery I've seen what seems like hundreds of black Liberties. I wonder if they have floor mats? My wife's new vehicle does, though. I had a van, she had a Liberty; now SHE has a van and I, as you know by now, have a Liberty. Her van has everything except anal bead extractors but then again I was only in the thing for a few minutes during the test drive so who really knows. Anyway I won't need that service until Spring.

Something else that happened this weekend was that I saw what is probably the worst, which may mean at least to me the best, Elvis movie ever made (I don't subscribe to the "Elvis-Is-King" philosophy; I am a member of the church of "Little Richard Is My Co-pilot"): Change Of Habit, co-starring - as nuns - Mary Tyler Moore (marginally believable but heavily flaky), Barbara McNair (who looks like a female impersonator - a very bad female impersonator, kinda like a female impersonator playing the role of a woman trying to look butch), and someone else who's pretty anonymous except she's the one nun who wants to get her freak on. Elvis plays a doctor in the inner city (I'm stifling the guffaws while simultaneously thinking of Dr. Nick) and not a single word uttered by anyone is believable as anything anyone would ever say in a conversation. Elvis' hair is really, really bad - he's trying to wear it in a faux-Beatle style but it's not quite long enough and it just naturally wants to roll back into the waterfall so it's flipped at the sides which would look great if he was wearing a ripped t-shirt or some other Blank Generation gear. But it's Elvis, so it's just plain stupid. Best roles went to two brothers who play hardass silent-type pseudo-Panthers, shades included. I'm not saying seek it out, but if you happen to fall upon it (I found it for free "on demand") waste some time on it. Your life will change.

Anything else you wanna know? Yeah, I didn't think so.

(this posting is dedicated to Richard "R" Meltzer and Lester Bangs, whose written works inspired a whole lot more than this blog)