Monday, August 18, 2008

I Could Use A Genny Cream Ale Right About Now


Here I am, fresh from a weekend one could describe as a very sobering experience. I went to a baby shower - shut up - and I both arrived & left sober. Then I went to a party, and I left it sober - ??!!?? - How does that happen when you bring your own boatload of drinks? Well, I'll tell you how - because I left early when one of my crosstown passengers got the rockin' pneumonia and/or the boogie woogie flu. I won't say who, but he got my daughter pregnant (you know who you are). Then after all that I broke my toe. It's the one that if you could give the finger with your foot, that's the toe you'd use. Yesterday it was black, today it's purple. Tomorrow, probably green & yellow, if this is America.

Interesting fact: over the weekend I found out hundreds of people read this blog, but they're not commenting because they're holding the laptop with one hand & wiping with the other. True story. (Fishsticks: holla back)

Another interesting thing I discovered: you can win a shitload of olympic medals even when your mouth looks like a bunch of pumpkin seeds in a squeezy change purse. Somebody better call 1-800-dentist, and by someone I mean you Phelpsie!

So I really don't have anything else to say right now, so I'll cut you all loose & as soon as I have something to say about nothing which apparently is how some of you like it, I'll post another tirade.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I have a SERIOUS issue with Phlepsy's toofs, too. What is he doing with all that cash? If I would have known ahead of time, I could have gotten him in touch with my dentist, since he has been living here for the last 4 years.

I mean, he honestly looks like he needs that thing that Phlegmbuttly had in her mouth that needed a key to widen the roof of your mouth. It is hindering his ability to pronounce words, for chrissake!